We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
