So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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