I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
