Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
