scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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