it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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