so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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