quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm passing your future prison.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
