She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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