Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
