when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
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Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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