WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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