it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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