Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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