sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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