NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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