it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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