The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
