i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
