I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You may now shotgun with the bride
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
