Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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