Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
