Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
