Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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