Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
