Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize