and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
