I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize