so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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