I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize