dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
