you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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