So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i believe in u and ur pee
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