TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
