just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Im part way to drunk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
