I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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