She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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