Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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