I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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