nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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