WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
