apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
