I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
