two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
