We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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