We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.