why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.