no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
