Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
