he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
is it fun? or sober?
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