Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
