So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
