Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Help. Why am I so naked?
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