i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
