Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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