Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You were trust falling into bushes
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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