Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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