My brain says no but my pants say off.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
